Felicia Day

First, let’s get this first piece of new over with:

I’VE MADE IT!

How exactly is that you ask? The Guild getting popular? An awesome role in the 13th episode of Dollhouse? Something bigger? Oh yes. Take a gander at this recent piece in the NEW-frikkin-YORKER:

“The success of the ebook is being fueled by the romance and erotic romance market,” Peter Smith, of ITworld, reports. Smith cites the actress and Kindle enthusiast Felicia Day, of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” who has been bingeing on paranormals like “Dark Needs at Night’s Edge.” “I’ve read like, 6 books this week and ordered about 10 more,” Day blogged. “It’s stuff I never would have checked out at the Barnes and Noble, because the gleaming and oily man chests would have made me blush too much.”

Oh yes, I’m the “oily chest” chick.  My Dad is proud all right. Er….whatever. Onto the book reviews I’ve accumulate for the past month or so:

Thorn Queen (Dark Swan, #2) – Richelle Mead
My appetite for the “tough paranormal chick” literature has waned in the recent months, namely because I think I’ve read them all. Like, hundreds this year it feels like. But this series really caught my interest with the first book, Storm Born. The second book, Thorn Queen, after a slow first couple of chapters lived up to expectations. Eugenie is a cool character, a real-life working Shaman but who is connected to the Faery world as well.  What I like about this series is that some takes place in “real life” and some in the Faery land.  It’s what the Merry Gentry series from Laurell Hamilton COULD have been (other than porn with lots of guys, bleck).  I really liked how the characters developed in this second book and a few twists in the romance were very satisfying.  I can’t spoil anything, except to say I really really hope that the ending isn’t a feign, and that a key character who’s yummy doesn’t turn bad in the third one!  If you like Laurell Hamilton, or Jeannie Frost or Lillith Saintcrow or Rachel Caine you’ll like this series.  Also, for a time the Kindle edition was free download on Amazon, not sure if it’s still free but check it out!

Naamah’s Kiss (Kushiel’s Legacy, #7): Jacqueline Carey

I loves me some Jacqueline Carey.  I mean, I even turned into a blithering idiot getting a video with her at last year’s Comicon.  Whatever.  She’s had two books come out lately, Sainta Olivia last month (which I liked a lot as well) and just recently Naamah’s Kiss, which I went out and bought in hardback because I need her on my “keep you long time” bookshelf.  So, if you’ve read the first 6 you’ll know the world, and this book is the start of a new series in the same world.  This time the heroine is Moirim, who turns out to be er… *slight spoiler*

a hot bisexual druid.  You read that right.

*end spoilers*

The world is lush and awesome, I love love it as always, and after we visit familiar territory we take a jaunt outside of the worlds that have been established towards the end of the book.  I enjoyed it a lot.  It’s hard to live up to Phedre and Jocelyn from the first trilogy, but this had enough intrigue and definitely set up for some tussles down the line.  There are a BUNCH of (awesome) racy scenes in this, so if you’re not into that…who’s not into that again?  I just think this author is the bomb and would read her grocery list if I could.  The book has a lot of romance in it, but the world building is so rich and thorough it’s really epic fantasy at its best.  I would compare her to Guy Gavriel Kay with way more naughty bits.

Desperate Duchesses: Eloisa James

Ok, boys look away.  This is pure romance crap coming towards you.  Eloisa James’ Duchess series, starting with Desperate Duchesses is crack, pure and simple.  Think “Pride and Prejudice” meets “Sex and the City” or the “OC”.  It’s amazingly addictive.  I’ve tried a lot of other authors in this historical romance genre lately, and none of them capture the flirtation and wit that this author does.  It’s just really enjoyable to be frivilous with these aristocrats.  I’ve read pretty much all her Duchess books and am working my way through her other series as well.  They’re all very similar, but enjoyable as the characters weave in and out and pair up book after book.  Fun reading.  I enjoy them with no shame…because I have the Kindle to hide behind.

Best Served Cold: Joe Abercrombie

Boys, you can come back now. If you follow my reviews you already know my love for the First Law trilogy by Abercrombie.  Well, his latest installment, Best Served Cold, just is….as awesome.  Whew!  Cool thing is, a few of the secondary characters from his trilogy come back in this book and are much more fleshed out.  It’s a very cool way to expand the universe. If you like grit and blood and nastiness and double crossings, this is the author for you.  The realism of his descriptions and his world is really intoxicating.  After I read this book I wanted to log onto a FPS game and shoot me some zombies.  There’s no “romance” in this book, Abercrombie busts any of that into bits, and it’s so fun to watch!  I really loved it and hope to make a drooling YouTube video where I look like an idiot with him one day as well.  If you like George RR Martin, or Stephen Erikson or Brent Weeks or Richard Morgan’s SF books, try Abercrombie, you will not regret it.

Across the Nightingale Floor (Tales of the Otori, Book 1): Lian Hearn

So, do you like Kung Fu or Samurai films?  Did you like Memoirs of a Geisha?  Would you like those things combined and then some magic thrown in?  Then try this series starting with Across the Nightingale Floor.  I have a weakness for any movies involving Asian Martial arts, so I was sucked in big time!  The books are set in a nebulous country, but it’s so similar to Japan you might as well say it’s Japan.  There are feudal lords and women held hostage, orphans and assassins…it’s got it all.  Boys and girls will like this.  I will be continuing this series!

Whew, that’s a lot of reviews (and only a fraction of what I’ve read this summer)!  Books I read that I hate, I simply let the experience go off into the ether.  I know how hard it is to create things, so who am I to dissuade people from trying an author, or trash someone’s creation?  Everything is subjective.  I do add a lot more books than I blog about to my GoodReads account, occasionally those are a little more critical, but I only list ones I would want other people to try.  Here on the blog I try to feature my very favorites.  Hope you enjoy, let me know what you think!

My Kindle has smoke coming out of its ears I’ve been reading so much lately.  A 12 hour plane ride to England and back helped me polish off quite a few exciting reads I was itching for!  Most of them lean towards the girl bent, and I promise to delve into more man-friendly literature in the next few months, if only for a personal change of pace.  I read a bunch of great books though, starting with the latest installment in the Raine Benares series The Trouble With Demons!  I think I love this series so much because:

a) It’s written in the tone of all the popular urban-fantasy that are the rage now, but it’s set in a believable, not cheesy “olde fantasy” world.  Not many series pull that off. The magic system is well thought out and the elves aren’t poncey.  Bonus.

b) The writing has an unforced sense of humor which makes the characters very likeable and believable.  I actually laugh out loud sometimes when I read these, not common with me.

c) The plotting always feels like a romp.  The adventures and conflicts the characters fall into remind me of playing a great video game or D&D game. I always feel like I’m present in the action.

c) There is a believable sustained love triangle that has lasted 3 books without the characters hopping all over each other, GASP!  Delicious romantic tension that makes me eager for more!  (I’m rooting for the paladin of course )

BONUS:  Even though I read this on the Kindle, the cover art has improved immensely from the first two (less pink FTW!), so read away!

Next, as a refreshing rinse from all the vampire/fantasy stuff I’ve been reading, I picked up a mystery series with three books (so far) starring Lady Julia Grey. The series has a strong romance plot, but I wouldn’t pigeonhole it only as romance because the mystery is very good and the characters are great, very involving.  I read these in England, and the author clearly loves Jane Austen and Wuthering Heights and Rebecca and I found it very evocative to read them while hearing people with British accents, LOL.  Fortunately for me, I read these again on my Kindle.  Look up at the cover art and you can see why I’m relieved.   Book 1 has a great cover, books 2 and 3 want to make me slit my wrists.  A dismembered man hand and cheap flammable prom lace do NOT help sell these books!  For God’s sake, go back to the original cover art, it’s much more appropriate!  Love the series though, will be looking for more.

Last (but certainly not least, check my GoodReads account for all my latest updated books) I read the third in Ilona Andrews’ Kate Daniels series.  At this point you probably can’t suggest an urban-fantasy/urban-paranormal-romance series I haven’t at least TRIED to read.  If it isn’t on my GoodReads I probably forgot to add it (or wanted to forget it).  Most of these books aren’t that great and seem like Buffy rip offs.  Maybe because I was ON the show, my patience runs thin and if I see another description of a dark tormented vampire who makes a gun-toting, leather-pants-wearing heroine light-headed with desire while she’s kicking his ass…well, I’ll do something bad   but this series definitely is one of my favorite of the genre.  There are vampires and werewolves and werelions, etc, but the world is so well put together and justified, and, more importantly, the characters are believable and have real relationships and care about each other.    The writing is witty and exciting and the series seems to BUILDING to something rather than just being stretched out for sequel after sequel.  Thumbs up in a very crowded genre!

I read about 8 other books on the trip, a few about the Black Plague because…I love the Black Plague, LOL! Now I’m planning to focus on some Sci-Fi now, or some straight mystery for a change of pace.

Oh, Kindle, what have you done to me?  I used to read “respectable” high fantasy, things with castles on the covers, 800 pages long with 5 sequels and lots of swordplay.  Now I use your anonymous leatherette cover to read vampire and demon lady-porn.    Sigh.

Well, I think I may have reached my saturation point with my secret “oiled-up chests” fetish.  I stumbled on a very popular sub-genre of the sub-genre of paranormal romance and may have burned out on it.  It’s what I like to call the “Packs O’ Men” series.

Examples:

Sherrlyn Kenyon’s “Dark Hunter” Series
JD Ward’s “Black Dagger Brotherhood” Series
Gena Showalter’s Lords of the Underworld Series (Best smutty cover art that makes me laugh)
Laura Adrian’s “The Midnight Breed” Series
Natali Singh’s “Psy-Changeling” Series (Worst smutty cover art. Bubblegum fog machine anyone?)
Christine Feehan’s “Carpathian” Series

I think I’m leaving a few series out, but whatever, I’m tired of linking stuff.  Post more examples in the comments if you have them.   Yes, I read at least 2 novels of each of these series, a lot of them more.   All in the past 5 weeks.  Eep!

Why am I listing these together?  They’re all series featuring an immortal, sexy group of dangerous, Alpha men who, one by one, fall like dominoes to a practical, spunky woman who tames his inner beast.  Because, despite ripping people’s faces off for centuries, they’re all REALLY pining for “The One.” How can one tell they’ve met “the one”?  Loin burning on sight, followed by dangerous bad guy antagonist, followed by graphic sex scenes, that’s how!  And then they talk about their feelings together.  And more sex.  And more rescuing of the woman from evil, because these dudes are protective of their ladies like a dog over a pot roast.  Then more sex.  Happy ever after!

Also, the structure for these (and I’m generalizing because there is some variation within the series I’ve mentioned) is that each book is a standalone romance between two characters, but there’s an overall plot from sequel to sequel involving the same world of characters.  You meet some characters in earlier books as secondary characters, only to get THEIR romance later in the series.  Genius way to sell sequels!

Don’t get me wrong, some of these I really loved (Natali Singh’s world is really interesting and I like her writing a lot).  But the thing is about these books is that, after a girl gets to star in her book and gets her man, the cast-off heroine takes a total tangental role in the world, whereas their sexy, powerful man usually remains more present in the overall intrigue.  I found the whole idea of “now she’s taken, so she’s not interesting to write about anymore” a little crazy, especially when the whole sub-genre is supposed to be aimed towards women!  I’m generalizing of course, but considering the men hold authority positions in most of these worlds, the little ladies seem to get knocked up and start cooking a lot more than I personally like to read about.

Now, I know the other sub-genre of paranormal romance is “kick ass female with emotional problems gets challenged by a dark, immortal and powerful man who is vexing and then ultimately great in bed and they kick ass together”.  That can get annoying too, but in some of these series, the Carpathian is the WORST at this, the girls are “chosen” and the dudes just wear them down into having sex and being with them for eternity whether she’s into it or not, and in the ones I read in the series, SHE WAS NOT!  Total caveman behavior.  NOT SEXY!

What’s the appeal of the Alpha man in romance novels?  Do ladies really want to be dominated and pampered by men who are brutes on the outside and sappy marshmallows on the inside?  Is it some kind of primitive appeal?  I can definitely say that the tall dark and smoldery keeps me coming back to some of these, but the best books had a lady as equally equipped and clever and powerful as the dude.  Pardon me for not rooting for a heroine who’s too stupid to live.

This post was not a review, it was merely an observation.  I am going to list some of my favorite paranormal fantasy series in the next week or so, but I’d love to hear what people think about these kinds of novel.  I’ve migrated back to my more standard fantasy fare and urban fantasy with more PLOT than romance-y stuff.  Will be reviewing more individually down the line.

You can keep up with what I’m reading in this genre by check out my GoodReads vaginal-fantasy and vaginal-urban-fantasy shelves.  I wanted to distiguish modern-day from tradition fantasy settings.  You can thank me later.

I make good on my promises, even if they’re made while drunk and probably not a good idea. As I did in this Tweet a few months ago.

To catch anyone up who’s lost, I made the mistake of mocking the plethora of kilts in the romance section of Borders on my Twitter feed. It seemed really weird to me that there was so much goddamned tartan in that section. Innocuous statement I though. Immediately afterward, while I was watching a jazz band and drinking mojitos, I received a storm of indignant replies defending the kilted man (who I wasn’t insulting at all in the first place dudes!) Since I have a big guilt complex and a low tolerance for alcohol, after the concert I went BACK to Borders, tipsy, and purchased a number of randomly selected Romance kilt novels, pledging to read them and educate myself. I have now dubbed this genre: Highland Hunk-Fantasy.

Some things make you REALLY regret drinking. This experience definitely is one of those.

Yes, I read all of these books. Some I skimmed VERY LIBERALLY, but I did indeed make it through all of them. Barely. My exposure to romance novels isn’t that broad, but I love a romantic sub-plot so I figured this would be amusing and enjoyable! I didn’t realize that the whole point, the ONLY point in these romance books would be to GET THESE CHARACTERS LAID! Loins will throb on sight. Sheaths will “honey,” whatever that means. Forget escaping mad scientists/time travelers/evil Druids/businessmen, the world will stop because the chemistry is too much to bear! Bow-Chica-Wow-Wow Bagpipe-Style.

To be honest, Outlander was a wonderfully written book, highly recommended by the Twitterverse and quite unlike the rest (it was in the fiction section apart from the other oiled-up men). It’s interesting historically, it has a cool plot and a really touching romance. So, the experience wasn’t a total trash-fest, but almost LOL.

Back to the point, my task here was to evaluate the genre, and I came away from it with a few clinical observations:

-In general, Highland Hunk-Fantasy Heroes are HUGE and looming: ALL parts of their body *NUDGE NUDGE*. They will definitely be dark and dangerous and you wouldn’t want to meet them in a dark alley. Unless you wanted to have sex I guess, because they are MADE for it. “Natural-born predator”. “Man with a capital M.” I got the mental impression their brows were probably a little cro magnon, but maybe I was extrapolating a bit with all the grunting going on during the scenes.

-Per the covers, they are hairless and oil themselves up quite a lot. I guess just to moisturize, since they generally go shirtless and wear a kilt (nothing underneath OF COURSE!)

-They smell like spices, usually cloves, not unlike a pie, with a dash of leather or wool or just the general term “man” whatever that means (B.O.? I guess it does make a girl ovulate).

-They also have a heightened smell sense themselves. In one of these books, the hero declares that “He smelled WOMAN“. I nearly spit my tea out of my nose when I read that.

-They have no respect for clothing. They will rip anything off a woman, regardless of price, so be sure to go to Target and buy something cheap before a date.

-They will be sure to have had COPIOUS sexual relations with other women, because they’re certifiable studs duh. They are arrogant and know they can melt panties with a single glance. The only thing that throws them off is a plucky lady with sass, dubious fashion sense and a dash of low self-esteem. That perplexes them and wins their heart for some reason.

-Universally in their lore, whatever that lore may be, they are searching for “THE ONE”. I guess this is to reassure that although the stud has a history of lovin’ and leavin’, there’s a metaphysical roadblock in the near future that will prevent him from sleeping around on her after she “gives in” to him. So no worries (mostly virgin) lady hero, feel free to open up for business!

-During intercourse, and throughout the book afterward at odd times with their chosen, they will randomly scream out “MINE!” And the lady enjoys this.

There are other things I could list, but I don’t want to get too graphic. I think the end of my Twitter bargain is fulfilled and I was suitably punished, er educated. I don’t think I’ll be adding to my Highland Hunk-Fantasy Goodreads shelf anytime soon, but it was an interesting experience.

I’m gonna go read some Vampire romance now, LOL!