I have been a crazy recluse lady the past few weeks. I’ve been working on House, so that’s a part of an excuse, but to be honest I’ve been in a bit of a funk. I sat down to analyze exactly why that was, because life is actually very good right now, and I realize my funk coincided with…the uploading of the last episode of The Guild. Ding ding ding!!
A year and 4 months ago I sat down to write a 38 page script called “The Guild” and on May 17th or so I actually uploaded the end of my script (or a form of it). I saw it filmed and released, unlike most scripts ever written. I should be ecstatic, and in a way I am. But they talk about withdrawal depression and I guess that’s a form of what’s been hitting me. Every day I’ve worked on this show, for over year now, and now the project is at a crossroads and must start anew; the writing, the funding…and I think the burnout hit me after I clicked to upload Episode 10. The physical will to answer MySpace messages and maintain the website and answer emails has been like dragging a tractor trailer with my teeth, lol. Also, when I’ve tried to make myself start the Second Season script, there’s been…a lot of doodling, and I found myself logging on to Guitar Hero or WOW MUCH more than I should have been. Bad girl!
One of my problems is that I am really hard on myself when I have things looming that I feel I SHOULD be doing, but am not. That builds and builds the longer I delay things and then reaches the point where I’m flogging myself for being lazy and missing opportunities and blah blah blah. It’s the same voice that tells me a line or a story idea is stupid without even trying it out, or tells me to act a scene for an audition in a certain way (to please people) even though my instinct is screaming “NO!!” It’s a nasty bad voice that I have to fight a lot, the lot of a perfectionist. Bad voice, bad!
Good news, I had a lovely lunch with my Guild co-producer, Kim Evey, today, and I’m totally stoked about the new season story and the DVD release and Comicon plans (that will be posted soon). Kim was in Hawaii for a week (GRR! :)) and gave me an infusion of enthusiasm that started the characters talking in my head again. Also, I finished working on House (Got some withdrawal downer from that too, you always do after working on a movie or TV set because it’s probably true you’ll never work with most the people again) so I can clear my plate and re-prioritize. Another problem is I’m a TERRIBLE multi-tasker, and I’ve been torn in 18 different directions the past few weeks. But, re-organizing is the key, and actually just writing this blog post is pretty fun and creative flowing for me, so thanks for the prodding me to blog you internet friends out there, I really appreciate it!
I’ve been reading a bunch of fantasy novels, long hours in the trailer and all that, so I’ll have some reviews posted this weekend. And I have a new goal with the Wii Fit that I’ll be posting this weekend as well.
BTW, I have another theory that Twitter is ruining my drive to blog long-form. Does anyone else out there have that problem who blogs and Twitters?