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This is Book Release Week!

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ITS HERE! I’m on a plane to NYC right now to start my book tour. 12 cities, ending in PAX. And then DragonCon, SLC Comicon, and then NYCC to wrap it all up. Whew, definitely a vacation after that. Involving Mai Tais hopefully 🙂

I’m really nervous because even today some people got early copies in the mail, and they’re currently reading through my life story, and it feels a bit ticklish, like someone poking through my underwear drawer, lol. A sensation I’ll get used to as the launch happens, I’m sure. I’m slightly afraid they might find something embarrassing or someone might get mad at me about a fact they dispute, etc etc. Already some of the press headlines are provoking some ass-y comments from the fringe negative gaming elements, so I’ve cut myself off reading reviews and such that aren’t directed at me. But ultimately, I’m so happy with the book, and I hope most people will be too! It’s so hard to put a creation out there though, especially one you’re invested in emotionally, so I can just take comfort in the fact that I did the very best book I could, and even if a few people are touched by it, it’s enough. Creativity isn’t about ourselves, it’s about the way the things we create affect other people. (Effect? Grr. I always forget).

If any of you can make it out to the cities I’m touring that would be wonderful! The links are on my Facebook Events Page and if you’re in the UK your orders will help a lot, here’s a Sweepstakes UK link if you want some possible prize incentive!

And leave a comment if you’ve started reading, let me know what you think, what picture you laughed at most, or if you were inspired to try something new because of it!

  • Johnny Sotos

    Yes, affect. Unless you actually bring people into being, perhaps by inspiring a romance. In which case then you’re effecting other people. Anywho…still looking forward to getting my copy in the mail, but congratulations. =)

  • I can’t wait to read the book!

  • Paul Gottlieb

    I just applaud you for putting yourself out there like that. Takes a lot of courage to open up you personal life to others. Can’t wait to read it! See you at SLC comic con!

  • Phil

    I’m sure the book is delightful. Can’t wait to get it Thursday and start reading. Just be who you are and don’t worry about the keyboard warriors as they will always be negative about something good.

  • Russell Houghton

    Just read your book, On my phone. At work. I may not have the drive to succeed that you have. On the other hand, I’ve never had a panic attack, so there may be an upside. Your book is really great, I really only know you from The Guild, and when you’re on Wil Wheaton’s Tabletop, it was nice learning more about you. And FANTASTIC job on gamergate, standing up when you were that afraid was simply heroic.

  • Calum Johnson

    Felicia, you have inspired me to find my true passion. I’m a music major (trombone performance) like you were, and am really quite damn good at it too. But for a while, I’ve had doubts whether it’s my true passion. I think it’s time to do some self reflection and find what that is. I need to be a Carl too!

  • Devon Hewlett

    Just finished the audiobook… Mostly, I just want to write you a heartfelt thank you note. I’m in awe of the person you are. So…. Thank you for the gift of your story.

  • Scott Schulz

    Fantastic book. I laughed the most when I realized I had just eaten a bowl of chili with spaghetti in it before starting the read last night. We called it “Indiana chili” after my family moved to the Left Coast, but it does not surprise me that they do the same thing in Ohio.

    I hope that you’ve reached a place where you can see how good your work has been and have achieved some peace with the struggle to admit that there is a way for you to produce really great things without destroying yourself in the process. I like your acting, but I find I like your writing even better. You could be a Nora Ephron, I think, without tapping into the poison of your perfectionism.

    So how about a feature script? I’m seeing a sci-fi dystopia where they-who-must-not-be-named have won. It’s a comedy in the vein of Altman’s “The Player”.You do not deserve the grief and beyond you have gotten.

    Did you notice that the end of the year crisis in which you completed the first script for The Guild corresponded to your first Saturn’s Return? You may have relinquished your role as an astrological adviser, but, apparently, it did not relinquish you. I gave myself permission to return to studying the Tarot that year in my life, and doing so redirected my life as well.

    Sending out a magic bubble of protection for you and all the public figures who put themselves out there in the face of rampant misogyny. You do not need anyone’s protection (because you are strong – strong enough to write this book, for example), but until we can shift the world into being a safer place for women’s voice to be heard, all good wishes cannot hurt.

  • Randy Divinski

    Was privileged to be part of the crowd in Boston last night. The 440 seat Coolidge Corner theater was sold out, and the waiting line stretched about 4-5 blocks. Felicia “walked the line” before the “show”, which was an hour long on-stage interview (which is going to appear somewhere as a podcast). After which, on to the actual book signing at the local bookstore across the street. (Those last in to the theatre ended up first in line at the signing.) Felicia had been signing for over two hours by the time I made it through, and had at least another hour ahead of her.

    I read several chapters of the book between events and got additional insight from the interview. I am enjoying it quite a bit. I had very positive feeling about Felicia going in to the event: really, it seems every week I am stumbling across something she has done that delights and surprises me.

    So, if Felicia has trepidation about how she might be received, I had my own about perhaps the person couldn’t live up to the “avatar” I had created in my own mind. But in fact she is so genuinely “Felicia” that you can’t possibly be disappointed. She is a pathfinder, an inspiration, a cultural catalyst — and darn nice to boot.

  • wrdo

    Hello, Felicia!
    I’ve read your book. I’m from country far-away so my english isn’t perfect. =)
    I was deeply touched by your book. I mean – I felt sad butterflies fluttered in my chest during several moments. Book is funny and very sad. You have problem with dynamics in the text but your attempts to be honest compensates that. Sometimes it looks like you are trapped a bit in the image of nice gamer princess right now as you was before in the image of “secretary”. I am sorry if this is wrong impression. Everybody wants to see you in videos as very nice, polite and smiling person (and beautiful of course) but nobody can be like this every day. You can’t produce tons of content – and not to lose part of sincerity. Don’t forget to rest =)

    You did a lot to popularize woman-gamer image. This is very important to see that adult woman can be deeply interested in videogames – and be absolutely hilarious and “normal”. You wrote in the book that you are weird. But this weirdness is normal, everyone is weird in some (sometimes very creepy) way. Normal people are most weird actually. For me you are girl on the unicorn, justice warrior. =D
    There are woman gamers in reality. But there are no woman gamers in game community. A lot of them are using male nicknames or not telling anything at all because they don’t want to be bullied. Woman gamer should be more “alpha” than any of male gamers to achieve respect. Only shooters (high class) and strategies professionals will be accepted with open arms. If male player tells about playing “Walking dead” or some quest – it’s ok, if female player tells same thing – it’s because quests are easier for women, blabla. If male gamer sucks in play – it just happens, if female gamer sucks – it’s because she is woman. It’s total bullshit of course. =)

    For example I am 34 years old woman – and I like playing, I played since childhood. I have a job (project manager in IT area), social status because of my knowledge, hobbies (writing books, kendo, music) – and I still like to play videogames. =) I have man I love – and I still like video games! Yes, I am weird! =) As you are. Of course we are different. But we are same in some way – we are adult women with their own lifestyle. And we love videogames.

    You are showing your face and telling about geek culture freely – this is awesome. I am usually playing Left4Dead or MMOs with male nickname, it’s much easier. I am not afraid – I just don’t want to bother myself with explanations. I don’t want ‘special’ attention. And you started to change it.

    I respect you because you take the brunt of prejudices in Internet for girl gamers. I have no problem with saying ‘Fuck off” to different people who are telling “This is only for men”. But it’s so common that I am getting tired. I am sure that you tired too, you wrote about Gamergate. But never forget – bullies are not interesting. Most interesting part – people whom you helped, whom you inspired. Your web-series about WoW were brilliant, “Dr Horrible” musical made me sing couple of days and I am huge fan of Dragon Age 2 because of characters (I was so surprised to see you there) =) I like your songs, your voice is very gentle and beautiful. But I don’t like “mass production” of content on youtube channel. Don’t waste your time to fight with black hordes. Just be you (maybe not so nice), create a lot with your own ideas – and rest a lot. I’m so far away from you but Internet bring us closer. And you are like my friend or something. Thank you!

  • Sophie Anderson

    Hello Felicia,

    I haven’t had a chance to read your book yet because I’m picking it up at your signing here in Phoenix on Monday. I can’t wait to read it, and I think it is really cool that you decided to write a book about yourself. That must have been scary! Good luck on the tour and see you on Monday!

  • James Stevens

    Hi,

    I am so bummed. I didn’t know you were going to be in Boston and I was also running a road race that night. Anyway, I think it is great that you wrote this book and shared your life. I have watched you on Eureka and watched you on the internet. I like that you own your character. While hopefully someday I will get the chance to meet you. All the best with the book. James 🙂

  • Shona

    Just finished reading your book this afternoon, and thought it was great. You have a very conversational writing style that is easy to fall into. You could do comedy books ala Erma Bombeck easy, lol.

    We’re of an age, and I was also into games young. Mine were pc based, and I particularly loved Kings Quest and most anything Sierra had to offer. My hero at the time was Roberta Williams. It was amazing to me that she was behind some of the best game stories out there. I hadn’t thought of that in years, but reading about your obsession with Sleepless in Seattle brought it back. I did the crazy inner world thing too, except mine was based on Lucy from CS Lewis’s Narnia…and I wrote all the craziness down lol.

    I’ve got one of those crazy long MMO resumes that starts with UO and goes through to SWTOR-ESO and crosses most of them along the way, including a year or so in WoW. It takes a very thick skin to put up with all the commentary day after day, and a lot of the time I just let people think I’m a guy and roll with it to avoid the drama, but I’ve had some really great moments too. I remember one night on SWG when I was a newb running around with a pistol, a Wookie sat down and taught me at least a dozen languages, just to be nice. I wish there were more of those moments, but for every one great moment there’s a dozen asshats proving the Internet Fuckwad Therory true.

    It gets old.I admire you for your stamina in standing up to it and staying in the limelight. Maybe we can get some dialogue. I did an essay on e about the attacks Abbie Heppe received just for being honest in her review of Metroid Other M, and that was before all the gamergate stuff. I often feel like I’m trying to break into a men’s club by playing video games, even though I’ve been here’s just as long, or longer. I’ve long felt that women have always been a huge part of the gaming community, just a smothered and ignored one.

    I’ve been a fan since I discovered you on YouTube somewhere around your 2nd season of The Guild. I’m not often one to post, more of a lurker on forums, and back in the day, in chat rooms. But I wanted to add my voice to the chorus of positive feedback for your book. It was great, I will definitely recommend it, and should you write another, I’ll read that too.

  • Mary

    I got your book two days ago and just finished it! It’s 1am and I should be sleeping but it’s hard because Never Weird was so thoughtful and entertaining and incredibly open and I keep thinking about it instead of sleeping. So I checked your blog instead and now I’m here.
    Anyways, thanks for sharing all of that (it was hilarious and the picture of you with cats instead of eyes in the part where you started filming The Guild was probably my favorite one) I didn’t think it was possible but now I’m even more of a fan. Plus this is honestly the first book I’ve FINISHED in forever, just more proof that it rocked my socks.
    I’m definitely going to sound super cliche here, but I felt like I relate personally to so many things in your book that I’ve never heard anyone else talk about, and a lot of your advice really resonated with me. Not sure how to explain it, I’ll definitely need to process it all a bit more for a couple days, but some of the stuff you said changed the way I think about things and myself and (again cliche) was pretty frickin inspiring. One of those less soul-searchy things is gaming and being discouraged from it, etc., because I grew up loving games and got super discouraged but now I feel totally ready to dive back in and just have fun. Reading about how you sort of struggled to start WoW and all the general recent unfriendliness in gaming put into words a lot of my unprocessed insecurities about this thing I enjoy. So anywho that’s just a tiny example of some stuff you talked about that is kind of helping me work through some general crappiness and feel less alone. So thanks, you rock. See you in Seattle later this month I guess. ^____^

  • Buddha

    Ok…. Where to start?

    First, I’m a 47 year old dude that’s been doing computers and playing ultima since the days of being a teachers aide for the computer class in High school (1985) and being president of the computer games club. I’ve been playing D&D since 1983 and am still actively playing (just played last night) and am passing it down to my 2 kids where I DM for them. It’s a family sorta thing now.

    I’ve always preached to them that different is just different and strange/weird/goofy is not a bad thing.

    I love your book and haven’t “fanboi’d” about something this bad since Patrick Rothfuss’s kingkiller chronicles when I signed up to his blog and then started buying all his stuff.

    After listening to your book (I !!!LOVED!!! that your book has it’s own “voice” and when you read it it just brings that much more to it) I just have a few things to say… It’s fine, don’t panic.

    1st – Your position on GamerGate and how you feel and what you did… I totally support you in that. I sincerely hope that one day you will feel comfortable being your fun, bubbly self once again to anyone you meet wearing a geeky T-Shirt. I love what you’ve done for all geeks in general and hope that you have a long and storied career doing what you love doing. Most people aren’t like that and I only hope that one day you can find that place of comfort again within yourself.

    2nd – I’m buying a hardcopy of the book at your next book signing. I’ve already heard it, but I want to support you and what you’ve done and the best way I can show that support is to post a bunch of crap on my FB page (did several days ago) and “vote with my dollar” by buying your stuff. I’ll also be buying a copy to pass down to my daughter who is probably as geeky as I was at her age. Plus I don’t think she knows that much about you, and I want to give the book to someone who doesn’t know much about you as you spoke to in the early chapter. I’ll get my own chuckle from that.

    Well that’s about it I suppose. I think that you’re awesome and look forward to the next chapter of geek that comes out of you.

    Love ya (in a non-stalker or creepy sorta way),
    Ron

    PS. I’m glad I’m not in the “public eye”. I like just going and sitting somewhere anonymously far too much to endure what you do. Thanks for doing it for all us geeks that simply don’t care to go through that.

  • I just want to thank you for your book. It was moving on so many levels. I was listening to it on the bus and I will admit to crying at some of the stories.

    I have found myself facing some of the similar emotions you tak about and hearing you talk about them makes me realise that I am not completely crazy.

    You have given me a lot of inspiration. Thank you.

  • Anne Marie Stoddard

    Chapter 6 hits home for me so hard. Your recollection of your writing process (and associated anxiety) when writing the pilot episode of The Guild has pretty much been my writing process/feelings for the past 4 years. It feels good to know that someone as successful as you has gone through it too. Love this book! <3

  • Rich Zitola

    Hi Felicia. I’m only about halfway through the book and I can definitely say it’s AWESOME! Thank you so much for writing it, and just being who you are. With millions of fans, I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, but I hope you do. The thing that really stands out for me is this: YOU ARE ONE OF US! I can so much identify with you, and see myself feeling the same things if I was faced with your situation. My life has been quite different from yours, but I do share that desire to find kindred spirits.

    Which brings to mind why I felt inspired to write to you just now…. I’m looking forward to coming to your booksigning in Santa Cruz this weekend. I was all excited because I had thought of something I really wanted to ask you about, and what I just read just totally stole my question!!! I have been a life-long fan of Anne of Green Gables, and can just imagine basking in the dreamy visions of life on PEI. Of course, I wouldn’t actually do very well there, surrounded by stuffy old attitudes, being a genderqueer geek and all. But then I read about your Anne fanfic ledger and just about leaped off the couch! I’m smiling so hard my face hurts. Seriously. Now you’ve inspired an EVEN MORE AWESOME IDEA. So… should I ask it here and spoil the surprise? Let us know that you’ve read this, and I just *might* be willing to ask it before Saturday! 🙂

    I’ve had a chance to meet a handful of actors from my favorite scifi shows, and I’m sorry to say that I’m so often disappointed. They’re way too normal/mainstream. They just don’t get it. I don’t expect actors to be in character, but it would be nice if they could at least share *some* of the enthusiasm for the story in a nerdy way. Sometimes the same is true for writers… even writers of geeky content. But for you, it’s different. If this book is any reflection of you at all, then you *do* get it. And for that, I’m a total fan.

  • Felicia,

    Just wanted to say thank you! Read the book cover to cover, and I imagine re-reading it every year or so. Inspiring and touching!

    I highly recommend the book not only to fans (and I’m a fanboy), but also to creative types (I’m also a writer and entrepreneur). The book is about dealing with the highs and the lows, finding your own voice, and marching to your own drum… qualities our hostess embodies. Entertaining as well as educational. Feels as though I’ve gotten to know you, though we’ve never met and probably never will.

    Wishing you well!

  • Irvin Grey

    Hey Felicia. I have to say my exposure to you as an actress is pretty much limited to what you did in supernatural. But I was absolutely enamored each time I saw you on TV. Sadly you are way out of my league. I am just some bloke who’s going to college for engineering and games on my free time. Anyways, your a beautiful woman and I hope whatever you do makes you happy.

    TTFN

    Irvine Grey
    First mate of the Steampunk Airship Blackrose.

  • FirePixie

    Felicia,

    I made my first DnD character when I was seven: she was a rogue half-elf, with black hair and orange eyes. From this moment, I was emerged in my fantasy world filled with dragons, hobbits, dwarves and elves, magical quests, spells, potions and enchantments. RPGs, tabletop gaming, and the Renaissance Faire allowed my new world, which previously only existed in books in movies, to become real.

    Unfortunately being into the “nerd culture” wasn’t accepted in my rural hometown and because of this, I was forced to predominately suppress this enormous part of my personality. In order to maintain the superficial approval among my peers, as painful as that was, I lived a double life beginning at the age of 7, which felt nearly impossible while suffering with severe anxiety.

    For years, I masked this side of myself during the day, only to transform at night and delve into the world that I truly loved. My mother and closest friends fueled my passion by spending countless days at bookstores with me. It wasn’t until college, when I gained the courage to openly express and enjoy all things fantasy and gaming. Although my change in environment and structure provided room for this freedom, in large part, my confidence in introducing my real self to the world, can be attributed to the online sector, which allowed me to understand just how expansive this subculture was and the large amount of people that liked the same things that I did!

    Since graduating college, I am now surrounded by people who share many of the same passions as me and for this, I feel liberated and more “myself” than I ever have. Even greater, I rolled my d20 and managed to crit-hit; I have found someone to adventure and fight dragons with for eternity (+20 for matrimonial bonus). I still deal with anxiety and bouts of depression, but I now have an understanding and supportive campaign to lean on through the good days and the bad.

    So, in conclusion, I want to thank you for sharing your story and for allowing others to relate. Thank you for unveiling the taboo and the overbearing stigma placed on women in the “nerd” subculture. Thank you for making me laugh, for making me cry and question all of my preconceived notions through your entire book (attached a picture of my husband and I honeymooning in Mexico with your memoir!).

    I wish you all of the best in your many future endeavors. Keep fighting, keep creating and keep sharing your talents and passions with the world.

    Thank you,
    Maria R.

  • lessabouchard

    Action affects. I think. Grrrrr. Contagious self doubt. Thanks so much for writing! And performing. I too like your voice. Very much. And thank you for making stuff and promoting it effectively- even while having actually majored in math. A surprising number of artists I know have degrees in Math, CS and Physics. I now want to go back to school to become an engineer, so I can become a better artist. !!!

    I know it may feel like good lord it took forever, but you did make stuff and people are connecting with it in a very loving fashion. I am curious about some of the nuts and bolts of production along the way- how you managed to put together creative teams- how did you create your budgets to recruit folks early on for the Guild? Is there an area on your site dedicated to this line of questions? I’m almost a quarter of there way into the book so maybe I haven’t gotten there yet.

    I’ve been meticulously watching (well, I keep re-watching anyway) and hopefully learning from your pacing and writing style in The Guild and hope to lead a community arts web series set at a local shop this fall in Palo Alto, so advice is anxiously appreciated!

    You are so terrific at advice. Cuz, well, Dr. Horrible. Did pretty well.

  • Alter Ego

    I just finished your book last night – you are so inspiring! Please tell me you have started a “good comments” folder Felicia, you so deserve it. Thank you for reminding me that I have something to offer the world.

  • Clyde Dodge

    Hi, Felicia! I met you at the Los Angeles book signing. I told you I really enjoyed your music videos.

    I finished reading your book this afternoon. The last couple of chapters were sort of harrowing. It’s sad about the haters. I suspect most of them are males who aren’t even 18 yet.

    It’s a wonderful book. It was more than a pleasure to meet you. It was a dream come true, honestly. All the best for your continued success.

  • WillowDanin

    Hey Felicia, I was at your book signing in Portland, Ore. on Monday, wearing my Geek and Sundry t-shirt. I wanted to tell you this at the time, but didn’t want to take up too much time for all the people behind me in line, still waiting to meet you. When I walked into the store that night, a man near the door BEGGED me to sell him my Geek and Sundry shirt. He had to be about 90 years old, and was in a wheelchair. Your fan base is broad, woman! I actually own two of those shirts (one was a gift) and wished I had brought the other with me; I could have made some cash. Haha. I also wanted to ask (beg?) you to consider attending Rose City Comic Con sometime. Wil Wheaton is coming! You should too! I’m still reading your book and I’m absolutely loving it.

  • Jane Higginson

    Hi Felicia
    not sure if this will get to you or not, hope it’s ok to send, I’ve just finished reading your book and I loved it! So enjoyed all your unique quirky humor and it was interesting to read how home schooling came about for you and how it went and how it helped shape you – I felt similar to you on that score as I was home schooled from 12 yrs old.
    I also wanted to say how much I admire you for talking about struggles with anxiety and depression as unfortunately there’s a lot of stigma attached to topics like that so well done you and thank you for writing about it as it helps those of us struggling with those things also. I have been living with anxiety and depression for five years or so since I lost my mum to cancer, two years later my dad re-married and moved away, i emptied the family home and moved into my own place, took on more responsibility at work – I began to eat, sleep, breathe work and eventually it all got to much I just had a major meltdown and ended up signed off work by the doctor for three weeks almost two years ago and am still recovering, I began to have bad anxiety/panic attacks and found normal everyday things difficult and leaving the house was a trial – just wanted to say how much i sympathised when reading your experiences and thank you for sharing those. I also wanted to say thank you for geek and sundry and all the things you put out there as it really has helped me, because of anxiety and depression i became s bit of a recluse and didn’t have the confidence to be around others – it might sound odd but thanks to geek and sundry shows like the flog,titansgrave and critical role i go to be around people with my head held high knowing exactly who I am and the things i like and don’t like and knowing there is a place for nerds like me and it’s ok to like what I do – so in a very long winded way (sorry!) thank you so so so so much for what you do and please keep doing it but also take good care of yourself cos we your fans love you muchly and want you to be ok
    Jane xoxo

  • Päivi Vinni

    Hi, Felicia!
    I read your book on recommendation by my boyfriend who wants to support me with my struggle with depression and lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. I liked your book very much and it really touched me to read that even someone so awesome, creative and accomplished can have anxiety, depression and fears, and still get fabulous things done! I think your book left me with the idea that one can attempt anything and should give value to one’s creations, and that one can survive and manage with and despite of difficulties like yours!.

    So thank you of your story and all the best and warmest wishes to you!

  • Sonia Goffin

    I just finished your book last night, and I really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing your experiences, and to not be afraid to tell it like it is. The chapter about your WOW days brought back memories, as I was suffering from the same “addiction’ around the same time. It was my escape from reality and day to day anxiety. I was playing sometimes 12 hours a day with my mage, Pyroprincess, and 4 other characters I made along the way, and since I had a laptop I would even bring it everywhere to check on things with my guild. That game was the most fun I had, and even though I wasted tons of hours on it it was totally worth it! My friends who were as addicted as I was told me one day to check out this really hilarious web series called The Guild, and watching it made my day, I saw a caricature of myself in it! I went cold turkey on the game after Wrath of Lich King, because I needed to take charge of my life again, and something do productive with it (which I did with several withdrawals when things didn’t go my way).

    As a girl I have always loved video games, sci-fi, fantasy and such, but back in the 80s liking these kinds of things was not popular, girls liking these things even less! My favorite pass time was Dungeons and Dragons adventure books, and that didn’t help with popularity either!! It labeled me weird. There was no internet to socialize with other people that liked the same things you do, so it was mostly me, dragons and spaceships! I am glad that things have changed today, even if there are hiccups (some guys can be still very condescending when playing video games with women, how many times have I heard that girls couldn’t tank, and were best at healing). Today I am 48 years old, and I still love dragons, spaceships and video games, and that qualify me as weird still with other women my age and above. I am okay with it, I won’t change the things I love to fit with the crowd.

    I was really sadden to read about the trolling you had to go through the years, you definitely don’t deserve it, nobody does. I never read comments online, because I don’t want to lose faith in humanity lol. Me, I only have great things to say, so let me take this opportunity to say thank you for launching Geek and Sundry, because series like tabletop encouraged me and some friends to rediscover board games, which is a great fun we would have missed on if it wasn’t for the show! Thank you for The Guild, which made me laugh at my own situation at the time, and thank you for your book, it made me feel validated in a way.

    PS: Love the bunny you made at Build-A-Bear, he is just awesome, I wish I had one like that!!! lol

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