The Official Website of Felicia Day

Staring at myself too much

Share on Google+0Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on TwitterEmail this to someone

Today was a “look at Felicia’s face” day.  Ugh.   Between rehearsing sides in the mirror for an audition, watching the gag reel for The Guild being edited, and picking out which new headshots I want to upload for my agents to see, I’m pretty much sick of my own face.  Like, seriously.

The funny thing is, I think most actors DON’T like to see themselves.  The whole goal of “good work” is to be un-self conscious, which is hard when your business is your face and body.  Most human beings don’t get the opportunity to analyze their own expressions minutely, so it’s only actors/models who get paranoid that the bottom of their nose moves when they talk, or their teeth look like they could gnaw off a hand if they smile too wide.

I guess that’s why I like doing comedy.  Because you can mock yourself if you trip or stumble over a line, or generally look like an idiot, which happens to me a lot.   Anyway, I’m pretty excited that a gag reel of The Guild will be online, along with a spiffier Guild website in the coming week, and a new episode will be up in about two.

The REAL drama today was the headshot.  Oh boy.  Getting new acting headshots taken is like jamming salt in your eyeballs.  The inside of you is like, “Sell yourself!  Be sparky!”  and at the same time, “try to look natural, stupid!”.  It usually ends up that half the photos have a maniacal smile, with a gleam of desperation in the eyeball.   Or your eyes are dead, like a fish on ice.  Not really hireable.   It’s a hard thing to get one good picture, and there’s no wonder that the main one I’m still using has hair that is chin-length, from two years ago.  Oops.

I don’t know if anyone else has experienced this, but I notice it’s amazing how different clothes bring out different aspects of my personality.  In a big chunky sweater, or a spaghetti-strap tank, the things the camera picks up are startlingly different.    Also, I notice that when I had short hair, especially when it was REALLY short, I was a lot spunkier and outgoing.  More confrontational.  Now, I feel more reserved and I wonder if that’s a question of being perceived/feeling more feminine?  It’s weird.

I’ll post the winning photo on here when it’s determined. Oh ya.  I guess I should update the website gallery too.  Oh God, more face.

  • First! Woot. I wanna see the Felicia pictures where you look maniacal and desperate 😀 You should post some, bwahaha.

  • It is very hard to look at oneself without being critical. I am trying to think of someone I know that is perfectly happy with their self image and I am drawing a blank. I guess we can take solace in the fact that others usually view you differently than the way you view yourself. Take it from this fan…you have nothing to worry about.

  • Dustin

    When I met you I didn’t really notice your face I must be honest. I was looking around for a rope to tie you to the stake for the witch burning. Because your hair is so unbelievably Red it must be Other Worldly!

    BTW, do you try any outdoor shots? Or all indoor controlled environment type stuff?

  • I’ve noticed the hair thing, too. The shorter my hair is, the more self-assured and outgoing I am. It is indeed strange, but I think you’re right. The more feminine your look is, the more reserved you become. Gender rules and conventions are so deeply embedded in our brains, it’s scary. Evil, evil society. *grins*

    Also: Yay gag reel! 😀

  • Somasaint

    the worst thing that ever happened to my
    [exceptionally low] self-confidence: my brother..

    you see, when he graduated.. i bought him his
    first pro camera. it was capable of 8MP with a max
    3 frames per second burst shot mode. [nothing special
    against todays latest and greatest]


    eventually, this became an extension of his arm.

    he shot everything all the time. all these little
    moments. so there are literally thousands of
    shots of me eating or laughing…

    and i hate all of them.

    the resolution is SOOOO damd high. i can
    pick out all the millions of things i hate
    about my face.. [oh to survive self-scrutinee!]

    the point of my story is; i dont envy you.

    i sort of have this fantasty where i get to
    wear a “gorram shiny” mask in public.. you know..
    like destro

  • Ben

    I don’t mean to get all Tony Robbins on you but this quote seemed appropriate…from another show biz person no less:

    I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it. –Groucho Marx

    As long as I’m posting quotes, here’s one of my favorites, it also applies (only slightly less):

    Everyone has a plan, until they get hit.
    –Mike Tyson

    With your accomplishments at such a young age, Felicia, I wouldn’t put too much stock in a photograph. You rock!

  • Dustin

    I just want to point out in reply to Ben’s post. Who is going to listen to Groucho Marx and Mike Tyson…and Tony Robbins for that matter.

    Lets just face it, people who say things are always wrong 😀

  • Johnny

    Ben is right Felicia. You are a great actress, a nice person and you are very pretty. There is nothing for you to worry about.
    I mean yeah…One should ever try to do the best he/she could, but do not underestimate yourself.
    Please do your fans, do us, one favor: Stay who and what you are. Stay yourself and PLEASE do not become one of those boring botoxed-up, silicone-filled chicks with fake blonde hair and the IQ of a broom stick. What ever you do: Please don´t think you have to be like this to be successful or pretty or whatever it is that makes you un-self concious (which again you have no need to be 🙂 ).


  • Ben

    Agreed Dustin– 🙂

    But if you can’t trust Mike Tyson, who can you trust?

  • Johnny

    Chuck Norris? 😛

  • LOL Chuck Norris! Dustin, it disturbs me to think that the whole time you were being nice on the shoot you wanted to take me out onto the street in LA and burn me! I will overlook it because you were working for free 😀

  • Dustin

    I’m usually looking to just do my civic duty. Witch burning does come into that realm. However I only burn the witches I don’t judge them. I was waiting for someone to point at you and scream “WIIITTTTTCCCCCHHHHH!!!”

    At that point I would spring into action with a bucket of water. If that failed, I would find a broom to strap you upon and then huck you out the window nearest. If you should happen to fly though, I had a back up plan. It involved Zaboo and copious amounts of liquor from the bar. Viola! Flaming Zaboo MISSILE!

  • Damien

    well im a felicia fanboy and i think your a good looking girl in general so, i’d almost challenge you to try and take a BAD pic of yourself haha.

  • Carl

    The process of acting fascinates me.

    I’ll admit, that I don’t really understand it and I’m sure I’ve got a lot of this wrong.

    From what I gather, you have to be able to master several different difficult skills and then use them all simultaneously, in coordination with the other actors.

    Firstly, you have to experience the actual emotions that your character is supposed to be having. Not just feign the emotion with the correct facial expressions, but to actually have the emotions themselves. I tried it and it was weird. I “reached down inside myself “ and found laughter….or tears….and just let it come out.

    It was kind of scary. I mean, if you can just make yourself happy, sad or angry….then what does it really mean to be happy, sad or angry?

    Then, it’s not enough that you’re feeling it, you have to be able to project that feeling to the audience. I think that’s one of the reasons why actors tend to have large heads….it’s because larger faces are easier for audiences to read.

    Ok….so your emoting and projecting all over the place (don’t forget to clean up after yourself), now comes what I think of as the really technical parts of acting. Body location (hit your mark!), body position, timing and etc. Make sure you have the right feelings…on CUE! Make sure you’re where you’re supposed to be, looking in the direction that you’re supposed to be looking in, feeling what you’re supposed to be feeling and saying what you’re supposed to be saying. Do it all on cue and make it look natural!

    Then do it again and again and again and again and again and again…each time making it look like it happened just that once and it was natural.

    Wearing all that makeup….under those hot lights, for sixteen hours in a day and still making it look like it was the first time and all very natural.

    It’s like you have to be able to simultaneously rub your stomach and pat your head while you are figure skating with a partner. On top of that, you’re both reciting poetry: alternating verses with each other and having the right feelings with each verse.


    That kind of reminds me of a very strange fever dream that I had, back when I was studying for my BSEE. I had been taking logic circuits for my degree and taking Tae Kwon Do (Korean karate) for fun. About the time of the Winter Olympics, I came down with a really bad case of the flu and had the strangest fever dream:

    My Tae Kwon Do club was competing in Olympic Tae Kwon Do Logic Circuits! We had about 120 members in the club and we would line up in rows, each row a different colored belt. The black belts in the front row would do their pattern (kata) first. Then the red belts in the second row would do a slightly different pattern, but it was related to the black belts’ pattern. The pattern would propagate it’s way through the entire club, until it reached the white belts in the back row.

    Taken as a whole, this group pattern was the kinetic expression of a logic circuit that was processing an input.
    It all seemed to make perfect sense at the time. 🙂

    [this time, I didn’t write my usual 256 little comments, this time I wrote a novel]

  • Carl

    Ooops…little comment #257:

    Felicia, you are a very gifted comic actress. You are very skilled at the well timed, almost offhand, little comment that suddenly makes the situation very funny.

    Subtle comedy is probably the most difficult to master, but you make it look very easy.

  • Joe

    Stop being self conscious omg! 🙂 Watch this and laugh:

  • Edgar

    Zombie Dance!

  • Ben

    Carl said: “I think that’s one of the reasons why actors tend to have large heads….it’s because larger faces are easier for audiences to read.”

    umm, what? Is this true??? I always thought most people have the same size heads (except of course Giada De Laurentiis, jk). I have occasionally thought in the past that most actors are so thin that they look like they have big heads. Maybe that’s the phenomenon.

    Felicia, I assume you’re the most knowledgeable on this topic, having the most experience with the celebrity set. Is it true?

  • Jen

    Ever check out the size of Vanna White’s noggin?

    I actually like Giada…though I didn’t notice the size of her head so much; I was dazzled by the 1000 teeth.

  • Courtney

    I think it might be a gender thing… a friend of mine who was a woman pointed out that Tyra Banks had a big forehead. I never noticed it…

    Now though, I can’t look at her w/o thinking of her forehead…

  • Carl

    Look at how big Charlie Sheen’s head is, in proportion to his body here.

  • Carl


    That was…..kind of surreal. Here’s another surreal bit of weirdness: banana phone

  • I know what you mean about pictures. I personally hate any picture of myself. I see them and i look sickly! Yet when i look in the mirror, i don’t see that.

    All that talk of large heads makes me think of the dad from I married an axe murderer.


  • Actors do tend to have big heads, it’s true. Also, actors tend to be short. I mean, you don’t see a lot of supermodels becoming working actors, and I think because the aesthetic of fashion is more “pinhead on a stick”. Not to be insulting HAHA.
    But yes, actresses tend to be anorexic, thus their heads look really big. It’s weird how they tend to get thinner the more successful they are, Desperate Housewives is almost unwatchable because everyone’s so twiggy. But that’s just me, maybe.
    I don’t have the self-discipline to have an eating disorder, lol.
    BTW, Carl, very interesting insights into acting, but that banana phone thing puts you in the doghouse. I CAN”T GET IT OUT OF MY MIND. STOOOOOP

  • Well I like the new head shot and I think your freckles make you absolutely adorable. 🙂

  • Is it society that effects the celebrities or celebrities that effect society?
    With eating disorders it perhaps stems from the same source that causes many actors to BE actors – they don’t want to be themselves. I think this in a way might be similar to why many people get lost in gaming. I know SOME people who spend every waking moment avoiding their REAL life and who they are.
    This one girl I knew even locked herself in her house for 4 months because she hated how she looked – unfortunately i was dating her at the time and that put a serious dent in our dating.
    Is this a human problem? I find it funny that there will be a really attractive/beautiful/pretty/hot girl but yet as many compliments as she might get for her looks she will STILL find ways to say she is ugly or she wished she looked different. It is not girls either – often guys are like this too except that guys i think are lazier. I myself am vain (the whole Leo thing i guess) and always critisize how I look when I look in the mirror.
    Do actors and models just echo and amplify what is already in society or are they the reason those flaws exist. I personally think entertainment is just an echo of reality – the art imitates life scenerio. My ex loved to blame celebrities – i think she often was just jealous because she saw what someone else had and felt she was inferior. I never could get her to watch Buffy ever – too many girls in the cast I suppose.

    I find it even more interesting how with something like anorexia – a girl will have lost her looks becoming too skinny and yet think she looks better. This perception amazes me.

  • Courtney

    Uh oh… This is gonna be Felicia soon:

  • i think that banana phone is quite fitting for my mental state today.

  • Carl

    Peak Freak:
    I think you hit the nail on the head. Culture is a reflection of society, which itself is a reflection of culture: so there’s a feedback loop. We live through our culture and our culture lives through us.

    We try to find our place in a cultural narrative that is populated by mythic archetypes. For a while, I tried to find a place for myself in the scientific narrative, the one that is populated by gods and goddesses like Einstein and Curie.

    The Enquirer is popular with people who prefer to live in the narrative that is populated by the thin Celebrities..

    Online gaming addicts are trying to live in their online narrative.

    Going a little deeper, Culture is essentially a life form that we coexist with. Ideally, it would be a beneficial and symbiotic relationship (like Scandinavian Social Democracies), but sometimes it’s a destructive and parasitic relationship (Cult’s of Personality, like in North Korea). Just as the rules of evolution apply to other life forms, Cultures adapt and evolve. Sometimes they even have offspring (Judaism has two children:Christianity and Islam).

    Sometimes, they die (the Aztec).

    I believe that the culture of Homo PetroIndustrialus Urbanus is doomed to extinction. Its narrative is simply unsustainable. That’s one of the main reasons why I moved to NZ.


    Mwahahahahah! My badgers are now inside your head. Soon, you will be in my thrall. Through you, I will shape a new online narrative; one that creates a Cult of Personality around me and I will RULE THE WORLD!!


    But, now that my plan is coming to fruition, I’m having an attack of conscience. I can’t go through with this: it’s just too evil. So, I’ll give you an incantation that will free your mind:

    “We don’t need no stinkin’ badgers”

    (How much further into the doghouse do I have to go, for that groaner?) 🙂

  • Renzo

    I totally understand what its like not liking to see you in a video or hear o recording of your voice…

    Anyway… can’t wait to see the new photos…

    keep up the good work!

  • Hair, the only accessory your stuck with.

    We need to develop the Nymphadora Tonks hair method, where you can change its length, color, and style at will. Only then will it be perfect.

    … well, more perfect…

  • Hi Felicia,

    I just checked out the 3 Guild videos and just loved them!! You were great in them!! And you are very beautiful so you should love looking in the mirror!! By far you were my favorite one on the 3 videos!! Keep up the good work.

Upcoming Appearances!


Comicon Schedule!

00Hey all, here’s my COMICON SCHEDULE! Thursday: 12-1pm Geek and Sundry Panel at Indigo Ballroom (Badge needed)...


Paperback Book Tour April 19-30th!

00 Just a heads up I’ll be on paperback book tour starting next week! A lot of...


Goodreads Award Finalist: Please Vote!

20Hey all! So I’m on a hiatus, of sorts. Meaning I burnt out after book tour due...


Embrace Your Weird


This is Book Release Week!

10ITS HERE! I’m on a plane to NYC right now to start my book tour. 12 cities,...


Signed Book Copies

40A lot of people want to know how they can get a signed copy of a book...