08.14.07
PROOF THAT I WAS A CHILD NERD
So, I’ve been cleaning out my closets because my pack-rat-ish tendencies make me keep everything in unorganized piles of rubble. I’ve been ruthless about shredding photos of myself where my mouth was wide open, ah the horror of the pre-digital age in photography!
One thing that I found is priceless. I thought I’d share with you, for your amusement. It’s a notebook with the following poem in it, written when I was about 12-14 years old. Anyone who realizes what it’s about before you get to the end explanation gets 5 nerd stars. 
The Guardian
His evil colored thick and dark,
Sweet glance of power on his lip,
On many a neck is branded a mark
Of his “virtuous” front, the Fellowship.
He lusted after new domain,
Infecting innocent minds,
While mage and moongate flicker and wane
Britannia lay in binds.
A twisted child he strived to mould
To penetrate the lands,
While minion worked with souls ever cold,
Time slithered in hourglass sands.
The planet’s signal for invasion is clear,
Is not the turning of destruction near?
Yes, that is indeed a poem that I wrote about Ultima 7, the computer game. Wow. The sonnet form is pretty well followed though, right?
So obvious I was homeschooled
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17 Comments »
Excellent, take pride in your geekage!
Now, did you play RPGs? Collect comic books? C’mon, the next step is to come fully out of the closet…
Ultima poems? That IS nerdy.
(Sez the man who… I can barely admit it… wrote a Buffy/Shaft fanfic.)
I loved Ultima back in the day. That brings back memories. The death scythe. Stacking all those freakin’ boxes in the blacksmith’s house in Trinsic. Killing Lord British with the plaque in his castle. The Wing Commander ship in the fields.
why is everyone staring at me?
I’m going to pass up this opportunity to laugh at Felicia (I have no idea what Ultima 7 is. I’m not as deep into the nerd pool as these other kids.), and instead use it to laugh at Paul. Hi Paul, I’m Samantha.
…Buffy/Shaft? Come on, man. Tell me you didn’t put it up online anywhere?
Hi Samantha!
For reals. I wrote it, and not only did I write it, but I posted it on fanfiction.net.
Since I believe in maximum mortification, I give you Real Crazy Shit: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/683158/1/Tales_of_the_Slayer_Real_Crazy_S
I played SSI games in elementary school.
HAHA Paul that was really fun, I like your writing style! Shaft + Vampires = coolness.
Thanks! The sad thing is, that’s probably not even the oddest thing I’ve ever written.
But I’ve shamed myself enough for one day.
I read your fic, Paul. I only know 1/2 of the cast-base (not a Shaft watcher), but I respect the effort.
And more than that, I respect that you’re willing to post it. I’ve got some… we’ll go with “bad,” which is kind… fic up there, too, but I’m definitely not posting it. I’m a chicken.
Samantha – Thanks!
And I don’t blame you for not posting your work. There’s stuff of mine that isn’t on fanfiction.net that I pray to God never surfaces from the dark depths of Usenet.
That is so awesome…
Where were girls like you when I was growing up playing (about to date myself) Ultima III?
Damn I’m old.
Bah, Paul, never be ashamed of what you write, you’re creating something that didn’t exist before, you should be proud of it!
I hope you’re trying to write original stuff too, I’d like to see some gritty fantasy short stories with Shaft-like characters in a medieval magical city! Yummy!
Tim, I have to admit that I never played Ultima 3, but Ultima 5 is like, the best game ever made. If someone remade that game with new graphics….whoah. Anyone notice my character in “The Guild” is Codex, named after the book of infinite wisdom in Ultima? Ya, I’m cool.
Felicia – thankee.
As for writing original works, I’m actually engaged in what may or may not be the geekiest thing ever, namely, writing an RPG. Three, in fact, which sort of slows the process down. Yay, diffusion of effort. Is that a real phrase? It is now, I suppose.
And regarding Ultima 5: http://lazarus.planetdungeonsiege.gamespy.com/ I haven’t played it myself, but I fiddled around with the demo a couple years ago. It looks pretty cool.
The only thing geekier than writing Ultima poetry would probably be people like me reading it posted on an online BBS message board while giving Ultima 7 gaming tips…hehe. 6 nerd stars?
It’s funny how little is different when you compare the personalities, interactions, and drama in a small message board club organized around Ultima and the personalities, interactions, and drama in a WOW guild. I guess put a bunch of people together and whether they’re into Ultima or WOW (OR Buffy/Shaft…heh), it’s always entertaining.
Whether it’s “The Guardian” or “The Guild”, it’s nice you’ve been channel your creativity into stuff you enjoy. Keep at it.
And it’s great you use the name Codex again, even if it is a bit geeky.
Felicia,
Codex is named after the …
You just blew my mind..
FYI, I realized you are in one of my favorite recent commercials the fave 5 one, really funny.
HAHA thanks Tim
And yes, I was in that commercial. It turned out really good, I agree, modestly 
I tend to luck out on the commercials I’m hired for, they’re always really cool, talented directors involved who let the actors play around with the funny.
Hey Felicia; did you ever get into Ultima Online? (One of my geek achievements is having my UO guild featured in “Origin’s Official Guide to Ultima Online”.) I wrote some Ultima short stories in my day. Ah, the good ‘ol days.
Ah. I’m homeschooled and never did any computer games. I really suck at them. And I’m really really really isolated, even for a homeschooler. Comes from living 13 miles from ANYwhere.