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I'm an Idiot

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Against my better judgment, I’m going to share something that makes me look like an idiot.

I love Method products. I love the packaging, I like the colors, I’ll pay three extra dollars for a curvy bottle of dishwashing soap. I’m a chump. But, at the end of the day, if it makes me happier to buy a pretty product to clean my toilet with, I will.

Imagine my delight when I saw they were offering body soap several months back. About 5, to be exact. The reason I’m specific is relevant to the story, I promise.

So, I start sniffing the array of products.

Hmm, wow, that white one sure smelled the best, AND it matched my beautiful clawfoot tub, my crazy indulgence when we renovated our house. How terribly attractive that would look in the storage tray that sits over the bathtub. How artful. So, I bought the white bloq. That was when the trouble began.

The five months go by and I quickly noticed that this soap was really…not good. Every time I used it, I was like, “Wow, this stuff will not wash off!” It felt kind of waxy on my skin, and thick. Like conditioner. But, whatever. It was pretty, and despite the dissatisfaction with the quality of it, I just figured that Method knew what they were doing. Maybe it was extra moisturizing, and who was I to complain? I would even look at the back of the bottle at the ingredients while I was using it. Not carefully, but I would look, wondering the whole time at the sub-parness of my Method experience. Nothing suspicious crossed my eye.

So, last night I was in the tub again, and used the bloq. Same thought passed my mind, “Wow, this stuff is crappy, it won’t rinse off.” Something made me read the front again, I FINALLY look at the packaging closer than normal for some reason, and see this:

Do you see what might have drawn my eye?!  DO YOU SEE WHAT, TO A NORMAL HUMAN, WOULD BE READILY APPARENT?!?!

That’s right.  I’ve been washing myself with body lotion for about 5 months.   How I didn’t see this before…with all the clues…I’m supposed to be a smart person.  The dawning realization of my utter humiliation registered after I read the words “body lotion” about 20 times.   I started laughing hysterically at myself.  Then I got a little depressed.  Alzheimer’s anyone?

In my defense, if you examine the packaging, the lotion and the wash are identical packaging.  Except where the written text clearly identifies the different uses.  And the fact that, when I used it, it FELT like I was using body lotion as soap.  Let the ridicule commence. 🙂

PS: I want to establish here that I had alternate soaps and don’t use the tub nightly, so my hygiene was never in question.  My mind, but not my hygiene.

  • Ben S II

    Don’t feel bad, you’re in good company. Even Isaac Asimov, PhD in Biochemistry and member of Mensa, admitted to a few spectacularly dumb mistakes. His car stopped running while he was driving home one day. He finally made it to a telephone where he called his brother to report that his car had broken down and he didn’t know what the problem was and could he come and help.

    An hour later his brother arrived along the busy highway where Asimov’s car was sitting on the side of the road. He took one look at Isaac’s car then asked, “isn’t that a AAA sticker on your bumper?”

    “Yes,” replied Isaac, “I’ve had it for years but I’ve never used it.” The problem with the car? He’d run out of gas.

    Ben S II

  • Allow me to commiserate: recently, while moving the TV stand, I accidentally knocked over the cable modem which was sitting nearby. As I righted it, I noticed that I had gone off-line. So I did all the things one is supposed to do in this instance. I turned it off, I unplugged it from the wall and waited. After a few minutes, when I rebooted the modem, it went straight back to “standby”. After repeating this behavior several times, I began to grow frustrated.

    Well, darn. So now, of course, comes the call to the cable company’s No-Help Line where one must suffer though the purgatory known as “Hold, Please”.

    Finally, I got to talk to a human being. Rapidly, he diagnosed my modem as being on “Standby” and if I pushed the “Standby” switch to the “off” position, my modem would once again work.

    *sigh* And to think, they let me take care of patients. 😉

    Hope you’re having a good day!

  • Dustin

    What makes you a smart person though? Education in this country from what I’ve seen is amazing at getting you to look the other way on things. So in your defense you have been taught to believe that the company knows best and not your mind. That’s my little anti-establishment education rant for ya 😛

  • Carl

    LOL!

    That was great.

    I’m sure you’ve heard about people looking for their glasses, only to find them on top of their heads, where they were sitting the whole time.

    About a month back, I couldn’t find my glasses. It took me about 10 minutes to realize that I was already wearing them and already looking through them!

  • Joe

    Great story. It just goes to show that we’re all human.

  • Ben

    Happens to the best of us. There’s this frozen dog treat called Frosty Paws in the ice-cream cone section of the supermarket. Its right next to all the normal people food treats but it’s just for dogs. It’s just for dogs because it tastes like a plate of liver & onions vomited into a cup.

  • Allen

    I’ve only recently started reading your blog after watching the Guild, and I just had to comment on this one.

    So I bought what I thought was some Herbal Essence shampoo a few years ago. And when I used it, it definitely didn’t have the nice foamy sensation that shampoo usually has. A few weeks later, I noticed that it actually wasn’t shampoo but body wash. My girlfriend, to this day, still laughs at me relentlessly.

    To be fair though (not that this is any sort of justification), their body wash bottles look *just* like their shampoo bottles.

  • It’s good to know I’m not the only person with a Method addiction. For me it’s absolutely worth it to buy dishwashing soap that isn’t covered in flowers or teddy bears. I’m a guy, and I’m perfectly comfortable doing housework, but for some reason I draw the line at buying Dawn or Woolite or other products with frilly packaging.

  • It’s so good to find out that I’m not the only one to do something like this. And Dustin is right, I guess I did defer to the idea that the company knew better than me. Pretty cool I can take a lesson of skepticism from the “lotion” incident, thanks!

    I do think that different product lines should look different, I mean, this bottle was right by the body wash, heck, it may have been stocked wrongly (see how I shifted the blame from myself to a minimum wage worker?) I guess it might look pretty in a row, but for usability, clearly strike one against them.

    I won’t hold it against Method though. Patrick is right, the design aspect of the line makes me feel good about myself when I buy it. It’s the same thing Apple has going for it; design in unexpected places will make people pay more for that artistic experience.
    This has been a great discussion. Ben, pass a “Frosty Paws” 😉

  • Courtney

    Reminds me of when I was much younger and a few friends and I try that dog treat “Beggin’ Strips” after seeing the commercial a bajillion times.

    “It’s supposed to taste like bacon. How bad can it be?”

    The answer: Bad. Very, very bad.

  • Edgar

    “I started laughing hysterically at myself.”

    I can’t breathe! Ten minutes of non-stop laughter can’t be good for someone…

    Thank you.

  • Dustin

    You shouldn’t say the word’s ‘Dustin is Right’. I’ll start posting tons of rants on your forums it’ll be like a novel. More so than Matthews posts lol 😀

  • i did that once… lathered myself in body lotion instead of body wash. the bottles looked exactly the same (same size and height), but i only did that once and cried out at how much i just wasted. *patpat* it’s okay. 🙂 i love the look of those bottles, though. i’d like to try them out after i’ve gone through my huge stash of Bath & Bodyworks shower gels.

  • Ben

    We’ve already established (months ago) that most of the Floggers are men. (omg thats making me laugh) Even with the skewed Flog demographics, I find it funny that 12 guys and not one of our lady readers responded to the, “I lathered myself in body lotion” mishap story.

    Meanwhile, if the lather story took place in a book that had a topless, leather pants clad, fantasy model guy fighting another guy in a suit of armor on the cover, would we be inundated with female comments?

  • Yep, you stopped playing WOW and started watching TV shows and reading fantazy books, and this is where you ended up. What else would you expect to happen? It’s not too late tho. Alzheimers has nothing to do with this it seems to me like a sleep deprivation.

    • Whoa, whoa, get out the way with that good informoatin.

  • @Ben hey, i’m a lady reader and i responded to the “I lathered myself in body lotion” mishap story! 😉 i guess i need to comment more often so you can all remember that i’m a lady reader. 🙂 (i’m just really horrible at commenting… and even moreso at blogging at my own blog.)

  • This is why when you call a computer tech support line, the first question they ask is, “Is it plugged in?” 😉

  • Ben

    Sorry about that Daysies–and here I thought I had uncovered a highly interesting gender based Flog debate. (I like your blog btw)

  • Cicatrixtwigs

    Mecandes – have you ever watched the British show The I.T. Crowd? Whenever someone phones them they ask “Have you tried switching it off and on again?” 😀

    Carl – I do that all the time, including putting my sunglasses on over my normal glasses -_-

    Felica – dont feel bad bad! Bathroom products can lie in their small textish way!

  • Johan

    Hehe, that could happen to anyone 😉

  • Manew

    Hi Felicia, i can’t stop watching your webisodes
    for 2 things : as a former WoW player i can’t laughing
    and coz ur soooooo cute * shy *

    Will you marry me please ?

    xxx

  • Courtney

    You should say yes, Felicia, just to freak him out.

  • Haha, that would be hilarious to show up at his house in a poofy white dress 🙂

    Thanks for the invite Manew, I must respectfully decline though. Thanks for the thought, I appreciate it!

  • Courtney

    Sorry, Manew… I tried

    Has the making of a sketch, or a really bad sitcom

    • 6502

      Yes, it does.

  • Joe

    Doorstepped.

  • Manew

    Thx Courtney for trying …

    Felicia, too bad you don’t want to have little french babies with me !

    Just kidding

    I hope you’ll just keep making more episodes of “The guild” =)

  • Carl

    I just did a new one.

    I’m a linux newbie. While preparing my breakfast this morning, I was thinking about disc partition issues.

    While my mind was in linux-partition land, I was pouring cereal for my brekkie. But, I had to hurry back to the real world: because while I was away, I was pouring the cereal onto a plate.

  • Jason

    Well…..hah. Well, think of it this way. You DID wonder awhile back if it was extra moisturizing, I guess you were right!

  • LOL! That is hilarious, Felicia! Is this the real reason why there’s been an episode delay??? Just kidding. Just kidding.

    I am REALLY stupid. I don’t just forget one thing. I used to always have my pen behind my ear in school because it kept falling out through a space between the zipper and the material on my binder. Annnndddd of course I’d walk around the entire day somedays looking to borrow a stupid pencil before the end of the day and someone says “there’s one behind your ear.” Jeez.

    And the glasses. Oh, the glasses. I put them on top of my head all the time. I’m sure you know what that leads to…

  • Mia

    OUCH. I just snorted some diet pepsi into my nose when I read “I’ve been washing myself with body lotion for about 5 months”.

  • 6502

    Thanks for sharing the I’m an idiot moments. So down to earth. BTW is that the first online proposal?

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