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Happy Gobble Gobble Advancedly!

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Tonight I tried to make the pumpkin pie in advance, which took WAY longer than I expected because 2 grocery stores were sold out of whipping cream. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I mean, what the hell folks, please stock your stores with the appropriate ingredients, this is the pig out day of America! UGH! They were out of buttermilk too. Heathens. I finally tracked some down at Whole Foods, a nightmare inside, and I made my pie, but it almost burned because my timer decided not to ring. Nice.

My brother is in town, so we’re going to do our traditional Thanksgiving dealio:

  • Prepare meal starting at 10 am. Don’t go to breakfast because we’re going to “eat soon!”
  • Go to store at least twice because of forgotten ingredients, regardless of previous list making.
  • Become starved by 2pm when Turkey is not done at time recipe says it is.
  • Check Turkey for done-ness for 1 1/2 hours straight.
  • Test the thermometer because it can’t take this long for it to be done.
  • Curse Turkey.
  • Weigh arguments for and against eating raw Turkey, supporting each side by Google searches on parasites/salmonella and/or quoting Rachel Ray and other cooking professionals.
  • Finally Turkey is cooked. Every other side dish is cold and/or eaten already.
  • Set table. Cats jump on table and starts eating any dishes left unattended.
  • Eat for 15 minutes around 3 pm like ravenous hyenas. Forget to say thanks.
  • Accidentally make dish ring on nice Indian Dining table because we forgot coasters.
  • Almost cry over table ring.
  • Feel good about selves for making a meal at home for once.
  • Stare at mounds of dishes.
  • Almost cry over dishes.
  • Go see horrible movie. Worse rating the better.
  • Order pizza at 8 pm.
  • Wish I had the self discipline to be Bulimic.

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving! Hope all of you have fun with your families/friends. If not, write down the things that drive you crazy, they’ll make a great novel someday 🙂

  • Carl

    Happy Turkeyday Felicia!

    If you like watching bad movies, then maybe you’d enjoy MST3K? When it was on Comedy Central, they used to run Turkeythons….so it could qualify as a traditional T-day treat.

    While one of my friends is overseas for the next few months, I have custody of his cats. First time I’ve ever used a laser pointer to play with cats. Only one of them is into it, but it’s enough.

    The cat chasing a laser dot is hilarious. Put it all on my slippery hardwood floors and it’s one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life.

  • stm

    That’s hilarious! Today and the Super Bowl must be the best days of the year for pizza delivery.

    So Racheal Ray and the others at the Food Network haven’t tricked (or guilted) you into making your own whipped cream topping?
    It’s easy. Just put the ingredients together and whip it until it’s firm…but we don’t want it to become butter. Remember…we don’t want it to become like butter!
    [Later] Hmmm…what to do with a large bowl of butter-like cream? Is there such a thing as a Thanksgiving cake!?

    Since Thanksgiving is the time for sharing recipes, here is one I invented last year:
    “Hickory smoked” homemade gravy
    It’s made like the standard homemade gravy (flour, juice, spices, etc), but put your flame on higher than normal. Keep cooking and stirring until you think, “Do I smell something?” Continue for five more minutes. You know it’s done if it has that smoky flavor that says, “Oh crap…I think I just ruined the family Thanksgiving dinner. I wonder if 7-Eleven is open.”

    I hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving…or if you are outside the U.S. — a happy Thursday!

  • Ben

    Well it snowed for the first time this year here is beautiful Chicago. Very Thanksgivingish.

    Soon I’ll be heading out for a food orgy at my sisters but I wanted to say a few words:

    I think the most important item on Felicia’s list is the “giving thanks” part. (Don’t worry Felicia, if you forget to do it around the dinner table, you can always do it later) As for the rest of you, even though this is a fairly anonymous way to communicate, I’m thankful that I get to read all your great thoughts and anecdotes. I know I’m a better person for it…I actually purchased some real dishes to help the environment because of you guys!

    I hope you all have a great day!

  • Mia

    Oh j00 crazy Americans and your late thanksgiving 😀 have a good one Felicia!

  • Mia
  • Happy thanksgiving. Hope your having a fun holliday.

    Worst movie I think I have seen is either Pluto Nash or Halloween 3 – not sure which yet.

  • happy turkey day to you too~

    (just hade another of dem turkeys with teh americans up in canadia!)

  • Haha! That sounds very familiar. I offer, for comparison, my to-do-list from last year, when I cooked thanksgiving for 18 people.

    http://psydid.livejournal.com/37065.html

  • Krille Ohlsson

    Must say that this is one of the most funniest things i have read for a long time.

    Keep up the good work and best regards from Sweden^^

  • SomaSwordSaint

    Happy “Wake Up Late & Gorge Yourself on Leftovers” Day

  • Sindoreila

    Where’s Episode 5? Was kinda looking forward to watching it over the holiday weekend! 😀

    How is funding coming along for episode 6?

    Hope you had a good turkey day, I’m flippin starvin after reading your post, now I have to go out and find something open and tasty… something with chicken in it I guess. It’s kinda like a turkey…

    A very bad movie you might like: Timeline, it’s based on an equally bad book by Michael Crichton. The book is flawed because it forgets that it’s a book about time travel. The movie is flawed because the actors are so bad, that it’s fun to watch for the sheer fact that their emoting tells you more about the on set drama and romance than the movie, see if you can work out who is smitten with whom, you’ll be glad you did!

  • Sindoreila, we were trying to get it out over the holiday, but people’s schedules for post production got messed up, so hopefully it will be out late this week 🙁 Funding for 6 is slow, that’s why we’re taking a few meetings with bigger production partners to be able to get a bunch filmed at once and roll them out. There might be a longer delay, but hopefully in the end we have more product!

  • It sounds very like a British Christmas.

    Something that always happens around any holiday period is the siege mentality that seems to take hold. For a holiday lasting a couple of days, people stockpile food as though someone had announced a zombie invasion, or an expected nuclear apocalypse. Why would they need four loaves of bread and five tins of tuna? Are they expecting 5,000 guests on the day?!

    Hope you had a good day 🙂

  • Judging from that description, I’m not sure whether I should be glad about not living in the States… or mourn the lack of entertaining yearly procedures.

    I think I’ll go with the former just because it makes me feel better.

    Thanks for sharing.

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