I hadn’t noticed how long it’s been since I updated this blog, so sorry. The last two months has been very challenging for me. Geek and Sundry launched, with 3 women at the helm and a SMALL but dedicated crew of assistants and interns helping. It was a monumental task, that went FANTASTIC thanks to you guys’ help, so THANK YOU!! Unfortunately for me, who is used to wearing MANY hats, this was just a BIT much. I came down with pneumonia after being very sick for weeks and not taking care of myself. We made over 120 videos in 4 months or something, and I guested in Supernatural as well as over a dozen other collaboration videos, PLUS doing press and social media…yeah, my body was definitely saying “EFF YOU DAY! TAKE A BREAK!”
So the last few weeks have been just trying to recover my health and figure out the mess that is my personal stuff, I mean I haven’t gone to the doctor or dentist in WAY too long, my closets are a disaster, friends have had babies and I haven’t even talked to them, etc, etc. So…still working that out, that balance thing, haha. Also the weekly show The Flog I’m doing is super fun but more work than I thought, so writing has been a challenge to fit in. BUT the balance is happening slowly but surely. Digging out bit by bit. Playing Diablo level by level.
This week on The Flog we did a bit more elaborate segment and released a country music video. Why? Because I wanted to do a bit of everything, it seemed like something that would amuse people, be different from what we usually do. We did it really low-fi, quick and simple, but we had fun doing it.
SOOO I guess some unnamed internet sites got wind and thought it would be cool to troll and basically flood the video with the nastiest comments ever. After a day of really hurt feelings (I have never had something THIS bad, so I’ve been lucky on the internet for YEARS!), I backed up and tried to figure out WHY it sparked so much hatred? I mean, sure, it’s low-fi, yes my eyeshadow is TERRIBLE (bad choice yeah), BUT I finally figured it out, I THINK. In all my years of championing gaming, I have ALWAYS avoided the title “Gamer Girl”. I always just said I’m a gamer, and left the gender unsaid. I don’t mean to disparage anyone who uses that title, to me, you change minds by being who you are, representing, and not pointing out you’re different from anyone else. That was just always my unconscious choice, to avoid that. But for THIS video in particular, I decided to portray a few stereotypical characters, I PLAYED a “Gamer Girl” and Jason Charles Miller PLAYED a “Country Boy”. WE WERE PLAYING CHARACTERS. But that didn’t really come across to some people, and I guess that gave them an IN to attack me, or attack the IDEA of “Gamer Girl” in that video. And the attack…thousands of Ouch.
Backing up, I feel like most of the hatred wasn’t even directed at ME personally, it was at this general IDEA of some “Gamer Girl” type, who, in the perceived mind of these guys, disenfranchises gamers? I dunno. Clearly a segment of guys on the internet HATE “Gamer Girls”. This is the part I don’t understand, why they are so frikkin emotional about it. They hate on this type of girl who “pretends” to game for attention. This archetype they can somehow factually attribute to a few women (then paint the whole gender with the brush) that exploit them for attention, cheapens their hobby with “casualism”…who knows. The irony here is that the “Hot Gamer Girl” is there because….guys click on them/watch them more than non-hot girls. So yeah, talk about creating their own problem, lol.
I know, for ME, when I started this road with The Guild, I had NO women to look at who were not wearing bikinis while they gamed. There was no “relatable” woman/girl figure for me to look to, and that’s why Codex, Clara and Tink are EXACTLY NOT THAT: Because that’s not who I personally gamed with, that bikini-chick. I gamed with moms and angry college students and shut-ins. So to be accused of pandering Girl Gamer, of BEING A CASUAL (whatever the EFF that means)…well, it hurt. But the comments from MY viewers, who didn’t wanna be bullied, that made my night. So thanks to all of you who commented, even if you didn’t like the video, who defended “casuals” and “girl gamers”. Whatever label you slap on it, it’s just another way to hate.
Thank you for standing up for me. Even if you HATE COUNTRY MUSIC